Gryps? Gryp? Guelphites? Guelphos? Guelphirians? Guelphers?

What exactly do you call a person living in Guelph?

I have exactly a month before I move there and I still haven’t gotten my bearings. 

From being in town for the day when I need to go, I’ve learned a few things. 

1. You cannot rely on urbanspoon or yelp or tripadvisor or any type of restaurant review guide about telling you where to eat. Because really, Guelph. What’s up? Honestly Guelph, I thought you would be a little bit better for your food quality and offerings. Some of these places with their very high reviews are over hyped and overpriced.

2. Your city can be very beautiful and very industrial looking. It’s like your mind is split down the new and old.

3. Where are your nightclubs? Where’s your scantily clad night lovers scene at?

4. What is up with your roads? I know your city is old but you don’t have to act like your city is old. Although I have no clue how you can improve on this since your roads are pretty much permanent the way are now.

5. I want to mold you to be my city. I hope you are as inviting as I am making you out to be. You sure aren’t Fergus so I’m hoping that you’ll be nice to me when I run and are jogger friendly.

That’s all I have to say to you Guelph, oh that and I hope your new southend develops more to see what you can make of your city.